The Booger Seat

"Don't stick your finger up your nose. 'Cause your nose knows it's not the place to go. You can sniffle, you can sneeze, but I'm asking you please, don't stick your finger up your nose."


When I was little, I was such a booger-picker. Truly, it was for territorial purposes. I would mark things as "mine" by strategically placing a booger there. For example, the wall above my bed where I slept was covered in boogers. Every article of clothing I wore was covered in boogers. People would tell me to stop but like most habits in my life, I couldn't.
I'm not really sure when The Booger Seat began but I do know how it began. We used to have a 1988 green Buick. My sister and I always fought over the back right seat so I branded it with a booger. I guess I have an addictive and inattentive personality (we'll get to this later) and before I knew it, the entire back seat was covered in "Brooke-boogies."


No matter how much we fought, my sister always put me before herself. I remember the day she said, "Brooke, you sit in that seat! It has your boogers all over it!" I had expected her to complain about giving me the seat but leave it to my sister to be the better woman!


I loved my seat with the boogers on it. To this day I don't know why no one else wanted to sit there. It was by far the comfiest seat and, since the boogers covered the window, the sun was never in my eyes.