I wonder why he's not into me....
(WARNING: these are very true stories!!)
- He said I had the worst eating habits he's ever seen and I need etiquette classes.
- I told him his business website sucks and I'd redo it for free.
- I told him to cut the chord with his mama and hang out with a real woman.
- I clogged his toilet with a poop the size of Alaska.
- I threw up in his bathtub because i needed the toilet for the other half of my body.
- He couldn't find his boxers on my messy floor and when I finally found them and threw them at him--turns out they were not his.
- He gave me a fake name and has a girlfriend--which I learned by stalking him on facebook.
- I threw up on him.
- I told all his friends that THIS was going to be the one I marry.
- I made him buy me a whole pizza and then rubbed it in his face.
- I don't wear underwear and there was something wet in my woman area.
- He told me he had to focus on his Scrabble game for the next 4 months in order to win the Scrabble championship.
- He made out with my best friend in the backseat of the cab I was in.
- I told him his fingers were like Edward Scissors hand.
- I farted at an intimate moment...
For now, this is all I can think of. I know I'll think of more to add later!
