This must be, pop

I’m kind of a really good dancer. Scratch that, I rock at dancing. Ever since I was little, I had a soft spot for dancing. Something about the way your body moves like it has a mind of its own. Often, when I lack the words to express myself, a simple dance movement would be all I need to get my point across.
Camp Louise. I truly cannot begin to tell you how much of my life has been impacted by this wondrous place in the mountains of Maryland. So I won’t (relax, I’d just rather give it it’s own story). For the sake of this story, I will disclose that Camp Louise offered many different activities. Dancing was of course one of them and so I decided I’d try out for the annual dance show. I tried out with three of my girlfriends. They all made the dance but I did not. I wasn’t too upset though because the second I didn't make it, dancing had suddenly become uncool. Weird how that worked out. Anyway, they were going to do a dance to my favorite song (at the time---ehh maybe ever) “Dirty Pop.” I wasn’t jealous. I wasn’t. Just because I left the room every time they practiced does NOT mean I was jealous!

The night of the performance, when I saw the dance in it’s entirety, I was jealous. It wasn’t fair that I didn’t made the show. Obviously I was just as good as the rest of those girls.

........ And so, I made them teach me “Dirty Pop.”
I practiced Dirty Pop that entire summer. I was “Dirty Popping” in the bunk, in the dinning hall, in the shower, on the field, in the back seat windows up (ha just kidding). But you get my point. I just could not get enough!
So I had to show off my dance to a large amount of people. Thus, 3 weeks before my Bat Mitzvah, I taught the dance to 6 of my friends. We had a special introduction and then bam--we were Dirty Popping in front of all my biggest fans. I was front and center and when we finished the audience stood and clapped and I was feeling way too pleased with myself. I felt like Elle Woods from Legally Blond when she got that special program and she goes, “ME!” Look out JLO, here comes Brooke!

 I had my 5 minutes of fame at my Bat Mitzvah but I was ready to put it to rest. It was getting tough dealing the all the paparazzi and whatnot so I kind of laid low for the rest of middle school. It’s funny because when you’re a nobody, you always want to be famous, to be worshipped. But then when you finally attain that fame, its like, you just want to be a normal kid again. And that was my problem--I just wanted to be normal again.

So I put my Dirty Pop days on a shelf, to be opened at a much later time in my life.

And then college happened.

One night I was out at a house party with my roommates. I was Chatty Cathy with the people I knew and ignored those I did not. And then, it happened. When the song came on the loud speaker I’m not really sure what came over me. It was like I was 13 again and had to prove myself to these people. I had to show my college that, yea, I got them dancing skillz. It took maybe 30 seconds for the entire party to stop and watch me do my Dirty Pop. And then the fame.

Once again, I was famous for Dirty Popping-- but this time, it wasn’t going anywhere! You could say I was a celebrity at my college, which I know is ironic since N’SYNC’s album was called Celebrity--but I think its fate. For some reason I was meant to entertain the world with Dirty Pop. And in return, its saved my life.

Without Dirty Pop, I’m not sure I’d have some of the friends I do. I guess everyone has a talent that makes them unique. And this was it for me. This must be POP!

For a time, at least, I was the most famous person in the entire world.

As I've mentioned before, I am an amazing dancer. I dance both for my enjoyment and to entertain those around me. I dance like no ones watching, and I dance like everyone's watching.

Every year my sorority had a formal at a remote location. It was normally an entire weekend affair and we would get hotel rooms with our "sisters" and our dates.

It was sophomore year, the first year we were allowed to go to formal and I decided to share a room with Lynn and have a joint room with two other girls. The formal was on a boat in Annapolis. It was a pretty day, the sun was shining. None of this really has anything to do with my story.

We went to the hotel to get dressed and ready for the big night. I was so excited because I had another excuse to wear my junior prom dress again. This was my favorite dress, it was black strapless with a purple sash across the waist and a purple ruffle skirt bottom. More importantly, I looked hot in it. I have abnormally large boobs, for my tall height of 5 feet, and this dress accentuated me in the right places.

Once we were all dolled up, we began the pre-formal party in our hotel room. Nothing too extravagant, just the eight of us with a few drinks and some music on the side.

This was 2007. Britney Spears had already shaved her head and flashed her va-jay-jay, and then put out her "Blackout" album. This included such songs as "Gimme More" and "Piece of Me." Truly inspirational music.

"Gimme More" came on the playlist.

"Oh my goddddddddddd, Carter, (everyone at school called me by my last name) it's Gimme More!"

....So 2 weeks prior to this was Halloween. I have been told that I made up a dance to this song while in my Marie Antoinette costume. Clearly, I was expected to reenact this dance for my friends at this pre-formal party.

So I started making up a dance routine. I could tell my friends really liked it. In fact, they liked it so much they began to video tape it (is that even what it's called anymore?). They wanted to share with the world my amazing talent of dancing. Boy was I happy!

Immediately, when we got back to campus, my friend Lindsay put the video on YouTube. It was more for our own enjoyment in the sorority house, but occasionally we let others see the video clip.

It was funny for like a week. Then we got over it. Plenty of new dances came and went and life resumed as normal.

Thanksgiving 2007. I was with my dad's family that year. As usual, the adults sat on one end of the table and the" kids" sat on the other. My siblings and I caught up with each other's lives and whatnot. Then, when conversation began to dwindle down, my brother Louis was ready to start the next topic.

"So Brooke, I was bored at work the other day so I was google'ing everyones name. Did you know you're on a porn website?"

"Sayyyyyyyyy whattttt?"

"Yea it's like some Asian porn website and you're dancing in a black strapless dress to 'Gimme More.'"

hmm...I don't think there were any Asians in our room the night I did this dance for everyone?

"Ha-ha very funny."

"No....seriously"

I sprinted upstairs so fast you would've thought there was a pizza waiting for me up there. I sat down, typed my name into google, scanned the results for anything remotely Asian-looking, and clicked the link.

Sure enough, there I was dancing in my formal attire to "Gimme More" with Asian print on the site all around me. It wasn't exactly a porn website, it was more of a "this-girl-is-hot" website. I highlighted the text below my video's box, copied and pasted it into a translator. As it turns out, the caption for my video was, "American girl with big boobies." I was both flattered and disgusted.

I called Lindsay 20 times until she finally picked up.

"You NEED to take that video clip off YouTube RIGHT NOW!"

"I will when I'm finished my Thanksgiving dinner"

"No, NOW! Someone put the clip on an Asian porno website or something and now I'm famous in Asia!"

Hahahaha and five minutes later the video clip was deleted from YouTube.

It takes a hell of a lot to embarrass me. Like, I'm talkin' A LOT, and my five minutes of fame on the porno website was catastrophic enough to successfully do so.

I know one day I will be famous, but not like that, not by a Britney Spears song.