A True Patriot.

So 25 guys came to DC for the Redskins vs Patriots game. I knew about 3 of them and only through a mutual friend. However, they invited me to tag along and I could NOT pass up the opportunity to be the only girl with 25 guys.

The journey began at 9am when I ventured into DC. I met the guys at the hotel and started drinking beers with them. Since I had just gotten back from Costa Rica, I literally had $30 to my name and therefore did not plan on going to the game.

They planned to take a party bus to the game and I was more than excited. We boarded the bus at 10 and continued drinking.

A complete rookie mistake I made! As I have never been to football tailgate OR game, I completely didn’t realize the traffic jam we would be in on the way there. This being said, I forgot to pee before I left...

About an hour into the trip I had to pee to the point where I could not hold it. Being the only girl on the bus, the guys did not understand. I seriously thought I may pee my pants so I ran to the bus driver for any sort of support. In my most polite way I said to him, “If you don’t pull this fucking bus over right now I swear I will pee on your fucking head.” He immediately pulled off to an exit.

There were no gas stations or stores for me to pee so we found a secluded parking lot. I was so happy that I would finally relieve my self and sprinted off the bus.

Apparently, when you have to go to the bathroom so bad you think your going to explode, running is not recommended. in fact, its highly highly discouraged (I’m not sure if there is research on this but trust me, please).

As I ran away from the bus, with 25 men watching my every move, I began to pee uncontrollably. I felt the warm liquid drip down my pant leg but was undeterred. I would simply act as if it had not happened. I finally got in between 2 cars and pulled my pants down to check out the damage. The damage was done and a huge puddle of liquid was clearly visible in my womanly area. No use crying over spilt milk right? So as I prepared myself in a nice squat to finish peeing, I heard someone running towards me.

It was on of the guys and he ran by real quick before vomitting (not becuase of me, because of the 10 hard boiled eggs he had that morning). But had he seen what I was doing? Did he know I pee’d myself?

I slowly started the treacherous walk back to the bus. Heart beating, palms sweating, body shaking. Be cool, play it off. I stepped onto the bus and sat immediately. I heard all sorts of chants from the guys making fun of women but not one did I hear about peeing your pants. Few! I was in the clear. Then, the thrower upper entered the bus and winked at me.

Fuck. What did that wink mean? Had he seen?

“You really do have a nice ass” as he smiled at me.

“Umm, yea I suppose I do” So it turned out that’s all he had seen. Thank god.

The rest of the bus trip I remained in my seat and at the tailgate I stayed always facing ppl, never revealing my back side. Eventually it dried up and I was back to me again. The game ended up being fun except when I was left alone with a guy.

I don’t know what it is about their group of friends, but when I was alone with them they each (separately) were like “lets pretend we are boyfriend and girlfriend” and would put their arms around me and kiss my cheeks. Maybe guys like having a girl by their side during a football game, to have someone to share joy with? Who knows, but I definitely didn't hate the attention.