After going through college and entering the real-world, I now realize that some things from my past were anything but normal. I attribute some of my peculiar ways to two of my friends, Gwen and Regina. I had known Regina since elementary school because we went to the same Hebrew school. Gwen had moved to Maryland from North Carolina in 7th grade and turned Columbia upside down.
One day, during the summer going into eight grade (2001), Gwen introduced me to one of the greatest trends I have ever followed in my life. A trend so magnificent that anyone who didn't jump on the band wagon was deemed a loser.
Peeing your pants was not just a trend but an initiation. You pee'd your pants from laughing so uncontrollably that you couldn't hold it in anymore. I remember my first time like it was yesterday. Gwen was so proud of me. I later learned that it was the greatest accomplishment to be able to make someone else pee there pants--That was the proof needed to classify someone as a funny person.
Peeing your pants was also a sign that you enjoyed life and all it had to offer. The more people I was around that pee'd their pants, the closer I felt to those people. It was a special bond that we, alone, shared.
One time in particular I remember was when Gwen, Regina, and I were at our other friend Suzy's house. Regina and I were being hyper-active, as we usually were. I'm not really sure how it happened, but Regina and I wanted to see if we could both fit into Suzy's pants.
Great success! We both fit into the pants with room to spare. The amusement of this fact had us in tears we were laughing so hard. And as we fell to the ground in a fit of hysterics, we were greeted by a splash.
If you were one of us, you would call this splash the splash of holy water. The amount of pee accumulated from the two of us was enough to flood the house. Though we were pleased with our puddle, we were saddened when Suzy's mom came home.
Suzy's mom, Bert, was so upset she had to leave the house. We didn't care, we were high from our happiness. When Bert returned, she had 3 pairs of adult depends. She had called all of our parents and explained to them what happened.
We had to wear those "depends" for 2 hours. It was truly the greatest 2 hours of my life. We were able to laugh as much as we wanted, pee as much as we wanted, and not worry about making a mess.
Life lesson: if you truly want to have a good time, buy adult depends.
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