The Devil Took My Toe Nail

"I REALLY WANT YOU TO COME TO OUR PLACE AND HANG OUT BUT I'M DEALING WITH SOMETHING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW... OH NO NOTHING LIKE THAT. WELL, THE DEVIL TOOK MY TOENAIL"

Rewind.


Spring Break 2010. My senior year. The first Spring Break I was legally allowed to drink. What better place than South Beach?


First night. We get a cab.We go out. We have a few drinks. We get a cab. We go to bed.

Second night. We get a cab. We go out. We have a few drinks. We get a cab. We go to bed.

Third night. We get a cab. We go out. We have a few drinks. We get a cab. We go to bed.

Fourth night. We decide to walk. We (I) decide to pre-party at my friends. We (I) decide to leave me there and go to a bar. I stay behind.


Somewhere between saying goodbye to my friends and walking out on the back deck, I seemed to have misplaced my toenail. My left foot felt wet and I thought it was raining. To my surprise, I look down and my entire shoe and foot were covered in blood. At first, I was grossed out because I didn't know whose blood this was on my foot. Then, I got nervous. What if the person whose blood this is has some sort of blood disease. Gross!


"Brooke, your toenail!"

20 sheets of toilet paper later, I hobble to the bar my friends are at.

"Guys we go. Its offf! It @#$^%*^*& came off! Hurt pain now! Go!!!"


"I'm sorry? Try that again in English"


"MY TOE NAIL CAME OFF!"


"Brooke, you're such a drama queen! Besides, we just got our drinks."


"YOU GUYS LOOK!"
"Check Please..." And so the adventure began. "What in the? Why me? Ow ow ow ow! I need...ahh I don't even know what I need. Ahh my toe. Oh no. Oh dios mios, tambien mi amor la piscina. I don't even know Espana. Ahh noo oh my god oh my god. WAHHHHHHHHH"


.....


"You guys, what happened to my freakin toe!"


....


"The only way for your toenail to grow back normally, is to cut as much of it off that you can. Then, eventually, the rest will fall off on its own."