If You Don't Know Where You Are Going, Any Road Will Get You There.

As I sit here at work I realize just how bored I am during the week, 8am Monday to 5pm Friday. My entire life has led me to this- writing software code and monitoring databases. By description, I may seem like your basic nerd. Writing code, photo shopping faces to super star body's, reading spoilers to True Blood, creating a blog.....

If you feel that way, you may stop reading now.

The truth is I am much weirder than anyone I have ever met (aside from a few of my weird friends) that I can't help but wonder how I got this way. Furthermore, could it be that everyone is just as weird as me but don't project their weirdness the way I do?

Some could blame my mother. Her "cool-mom" mentality along with her being naive to raising children, she let me get away with anything. Well, except for the time I squeezed her boob to see how big they really were. After that day, I had new aspirations in life.

Some could blame my father. After asking most of my friends I found out it is not normal for fathers to fart in the car and then lock all the windows. Or to hock a luggy out the passenger window while someone is occupying the seat. Good to know.

Or you could blame my sister, Rachel. While she meant well, I still have nightmares of her chasing me around the house with scissors and hair bleach. I saw what she did to my Life-Size Barbie---no way was that happening to me! And her laugh. That evil laugh will haunt me forever. That laugh was so loud and morose that it was the only thing that caught my parent's attention and stopped me dead in my tracks.

Then, there's my "Step-peoples." And I call them this because there are just way too many for one family. Beth, my step mom, and Louis and Mike, my step-bros, have been with me the longest. I knew we'd hit it off the first time we all met. We went to the circus in my dad's "newly-single-man-jaguar-he-couldn't-afford." Rachel and I were buckled in the left seat, Louis and Michael in the right. It was as if we were lifelong friends the way my sister and I leaned towards our door, and the boys toward their door.

Personally, I think it was Columbia that messed me up. Moving there at such a young age exposed me to more Jews than most people meet in a lifetime. And with Jewish people comes a whole new level of weird. Oy Vey Zmir!